King of the Koopa

I know I said before that I was going to rant about why Bowser will forever fail, but I've changed my mind. I'm allowed to do that. Instead I want to talk about how wonderful the creation of Bowser as a villain is. Bowser is fantastic example of classic villainy; He's a monster, he kidnaps princesses (or at least one), and he hates the hero of the story. He has hordes upon hordes of minions a his disposal, but are any of these minions intelligent or skillful? No, they're minions. That's what minions are, cannon fodder to be sent of in waves to die for that chance when one minion might be able to accidentally hurt the target. It makes sense that his army of Koopas is completely stupid, because that's why he's the one in charge. He's the only one with drive and clarity of vision, the only one with a plan. And yes, the plan. Perhaps its just me, but isn't odd that Bowser continually kidnaps the Princess for no apparent reason? His plan isn't publicized to the world so that some shmuck can unravel it, no, he keeps it mysterious and secret. All marks of a great villain. I have a complete list and formula for all attributes great villains should have, but that's for another time.

Be Grateful

Taking a break from the many hours I spent playing Assassin's Creed II, which I will review upon completion, I decided to hook up my old Nintendo (or NES) and play some games. And I remember some of the frustrations I had playing them originally, but now being a much more experienced and skilled gamer...these things still frustrate and perplex me. I was just playing Mega Man 3. I'm a big fan of Mega Man, I mean he's a cool blue cyborg who strikes awesome poses every time he jumps or slides while he shoots robots and then absorbs their powers. What's not to love? I'll tell you what's not to love, one machine bumps into another half-machine, and the half-machine gets seriously injured and is sometimes so shaken by his being bumped into that he falls into a hole and dies. This has never made sense to me, and I'm so very glad its gone. Or at least I believe its gone, I haven't seen this sort of thing in a game lately, so here's hoping. Anyway, back to my point; Mega Man is made out of metal, or at least mostly, and the enemies are made of metal, why does one get hurt when they touch and not the other?

And this isn't exclusive to Mega Man, many many games have done this and it has almost NEVER made sense to me. Sure, some enemies are on fire or they radiate electricity, that's reasonable (I know I know, I'm using reason when complaining about the mechanics of a 20 year old video game, but you know what I mean)m but metal slightly touching metal should not be harmful to either side. The only time this kind of thing made sense is in Mario games, because none of it makes sense. If you start question why touching a goomba kills Mario, then you have start questioning things like "What the Hell is a Goomba?" "Why does that turtle have wings?" "Why does eating a mushroom make Marion gigantic, and why does eating a flower make him throw fire, and why in the hell does having a tail give him the ability to fly?" and lastly "How did a short fat Italian Plumber land the Princess of this magical world, and why does this princess ALWAYS get kidnapped? I mean shouldn't she have some damn security by now?". Wow, I went off on that tangent a little longer than I intended, but oh well.

To sum up, if you're ever upset when an enemy constantly seems to have too many bullets or is too accurate, just be glad that he can't accidentally bump shoulders with you and your legs falls off or explode into a show of tiny sparkly discs.

All this talk about Super Mario has me thinking, my next post will probably be a rant about why King Koopa (That's Bowser to you youngens) has failed and will consistently fail forever unless he changes his ways.

A little about my experiences

I've owned every system from the Atari to the 360 (excluding the PS3), I've hauled computers to friend's houses for all night Starcraft, rejoiced upon the triumphant defeat of the dark King Koopa before he became "Bowser", and raged in frustration as a passerby tripped on the power cord as I fought the final Boss. I remember the days when they were not called "Bosses", they were referred to simply as "the End Guy", a term which I believe to be self-explanatory. I grew up using "paddles" to play games, not controllers. I was there when if a game wasn't working, you simply blew on it as hard as you could and/or flicked the power switch for a few seconds. My earliest memory I have is playing Super Mario Brothers 3, and getting to World 7 all by myself, I believe I was 3 or 4 because I had not yet started Kindergarten. I've spent hours and hours waiting for the Midnight release of a game, and then spent the entire night and next morning playing with friends. I've lost track of time while playing a game in the morning and then suddenly realized that the sun had long ago set.

Now that I've made it look like my entire life up to this point has revolved around video games, and you have this image of me in your head of a 30 year old 400 pound slob whose gut is so large that I can rest a bag of chips on it while typing, someone who's never had a girlfriend and just trolls the internets to pick fights with random strangers online. That is not me.

I just wanted to show that I am a gamer, I am one of you, a man of the people and for the people. But my life is not video games, I just love them. My biggest passion in life is simply stories, as long as they are told well through whichever medium the artist (or artists) have chosen. Video games, movies, books, blogs, or word of mouth all have their upsides and their downs, and I love them all. But a video game, to me, is the most immersive medium of storytelling. Since you control the character, you begin to feel for the character. When he gets hurt badly by some bad guy, you wince, you feel a small jolt of fear for his well-being, if only just a subtle hint. If you let go and let yourself be immersed in the story, you can feel what he feels, and enjoy what he enjoys. And the fact that his (or her, as the case may be) life is in your hands, demands something of you. You are no longer a casual observer and sympathetic third party in this adventure, you are right there in the thick of things.

Who am I and why should you listen me?

My name is Promethyis, and I have been a gamer since I can remember, which is around 1990. Which gives me twenty years of video game experience, which I'll admit does not make me an expert, but it does mean I've got some perspective on the way games and the gaming world have changed over the years. As to why you should listen me, I don't care. This blog is just an outlet for me to pour out my thoughts and feelings about games, probably more for my benefit than yours, but I'm sure (or at least hope) you will get something out of it too.